We’ve been so sick. I’ve been wanting to update but couldn’t write. I’m just going to edit a social media post and throw it in here so you’ll know what’s up, with apologies for no illustrations. And with hopes that some day I can again write better. Hell, I hope some day I’ll be writing about other things, because Hazel and I will be well.
First thing you need to know is that after moving to escape from mold, we’ve found mold growing in our new place. Oh no! The big difference is that this time we have a landlord who wants to protect his property and his tenants, not be a slumlord, so he’s having us hire a handyman and roofers to get right onto it. But meanwhile we suffer from the presence of spores which is beyond aggravating when we tried so hard not to bring along with us when we moved.
I just have to keep plodding on. Every time I get up to make a meal I try to suppress cries of pain so as not to make Hazel feel guilty for being hungry. Every time she complains I try to solve her problem, whether it be neighborhood noises or the need for new headphones or having to push back the next blood draw again because she’s still too exhausted from the last one. I do what I can and I don’t point out there’s nobody helping me. But when I crawl back in bed for a rest, I wish there were someone I could call out to, to bring me a smoothie. Someone else to wash a dish. Someone else to take out the trash. Everything hurts.
We’ve had no caregiver in nearly 3 months. Our wonderful caregiver had to leave because of degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis: terribly painful and potentially permanently disabling condition which may require surgery to put spacers in her spine and she’d be grateful for info from any one who has suffered similar so please comment if you have a good link for her.
She’s so wonderful. And I miss her so. She’s a very caring and thoughtful person with great problem solving skills. Having seen several years of our situation, before she left she made this site for Hazel: https://pocketfulofhope.wixsite.com/pathwaysofhealing So if you are able to help with a donation, that’s where. Top left, Donate Now link. Our other last two helpers left one for a job with more hours and benefits so she could stop having to live at her boyfriend’s mom’s house, and one because she had an uncle and a mom who both were disabled and needed her help. Problems are everywhere, but progress is possible.
I have found a handyman to help us deal with the mold in our new home and assorted repairs but he had to cancel this week because his dad is being sent home to die so he has to get both dad and hospice settled, but he’ll work next week. Moral of story, again, everyone’s got problems but progress is possible.
Meanwhile the world is burning and I wish I could be doing more to help but can’t even do all we need just to survive, we two, me and Hazel. Mantra, repeat, we all have problems, big problems, but progress is possible. Keep hoping. Keep trying, Keep being community, coping, caring, compassionate. Lie down and rest as needed, intending to stand up and make a difference when you can. Problems persist. Progress is possible.